by Alan Bern
I Wish Billie Holiday Helped My Psychosis
Record spins into silence
Billie Holiday mute in my mind.
Sun slips through the dirty windows
like ghosts in September.
Thrift store art lines the walls
with framed paintings by my mother.
The suicidal ideation is gulfed
washing into the Puget Sound.
Medicines seem to be working
I’ll try to grow marigolds again.
Coping with beloved Latuda and Zoloft
the collard greens root in the backyard.
Record putters with Billie’s voice
I know surviving is a choice.
Endurance of filling my pillbox
the ceremonious swallowing each night.
Celeste Schueler is a native Mississippian living in the Pacific Northwest. She identifies as a neurodiverse mother, poet, and feminist. Most of her work stems from her struggles with bipolar disorder and parenting her twin daughters. Celeste has her BA and MFA from Mississippi University for Women and has taught creative writing at Western Oklahoma State College. She is currently teaching workshops with the Tacoma Public Library and working with The Gathering of Poets in Tacoma, WA. Celeste is also a writer for 253 Windermere digital magazine. She loves taking her twins on adventures in Seattle and around the Puget Sound, reading all sorts of books (but mostly poetry), frying catfish, and arranging flowers around her home.
Twitter @CelestePoetProf Instagram @celeste.schueler.
Retired children’s librarian Alan Bern has published three books of poetry and has a hybrid fictionalized memoir, IN THE PACE OF THE PATH, forthcoming from UnCollected Press. Recent awards include: Winner, Saw Palm Poetry Contest (2022); Honorable Mention, Littoral Press Poetry Prize(2021). Recent and upcoming writing and photo work include: CERASUS, Thanatos, The Hyacinth Review, DarkWinter, and Mercurius. Alan is a published/exhibited photographer, and he performs with dancer/choreographer Lucinda Weaver as PACES: dance & poetry fit the space and with musicians from Composing Together. Lines & Faces, his press with artist/printer Robert Woods: linesandfaces.com. https://www.instagram.com/abobern/ https://twitter.com/AlanBern1/ https://www.facebook.com/alan.bern.1.