by Kari Flickinger
1.6.1983, Birthday Otters
Thank you for the wee otter book
you made for my birthday, Pumpel.
I like your gawky teenage writing
and that you did some proper research
(it`s a teacher thing).
Now you know why I adore otters.
Isn´t it great that their pelt is the thickest
of any mammal? The top layer which is waterproof,
then an underlayer to keep warm.
If I believed in rebirth,
I would like to be reborn as an otter.
My throat still hurts from the harsh words
spoken a few days ago.
Why do we fight all the time?
It was easier when you were little.
Otters are amazing, but so are you,
darling daughter, I hope you know that.
Beyond all the noise,
I just want to love you.
Home Otters
The whole family
roped in with your obsession:
posters, photos, t-shirts
books, visits to otter stations
old-school research.
And you were right, they are appealing:
they lie on their back, holding each other
chirping, grunting, chuckling
playing, fighting
A baby sea-otter´s cry sounds like a sea-gull.
Did you know that? Did you want to?
Maybe not, but that`s beside the point
You take all the wrong turns and make them
your place in the world which is full of
schmucks, you`d declare. Not otters though,
they´re good in everything they do.
Of all the lessons, these I´m grateful for:
how to cherish otters,
how to cherish words,
how to have a voice.
July 2020, Funeral Otters
Dear A.
Now is the time to say thank you
for all the otter stuff you gave
me over the years
As you know I´m always right so hear
me when I say I´ve learnt so
much from you maybe more than you
from me (although I don`t quite believe that)
The last few years were hard on both of us
but I heard your stories of otters
juggling with rocks while floating
sea otters using tools to break
open their food
I always knew they were just as clever as us
you never believed me
Thank you for bringing these presents
the otter postcard from all three of you
my favourite otter shirt tobacco pipe
I feel like a pharaoh showered with gifts
for a safe passage
I left a message for you
between the lavender in our garden
In case you don`t find it
here`s what it says
It´s too late for me to be saved
But I would like to be remembered
After Otters
My timeline graced with otters,
sliding around in the snow,
rolling around on ice cubes,
cracking them with their teeth.
The German post made a stamp,
shortly after you died, with an otter on it.
I put it on the envelopes of all
the thank-you cards. Otters vocalize,
they even cry. I did.
Our father-daughter mess,
a recipe for tenderness, disaster,
boiled-over grief and anger
and those heavens between us
I cannot fathom.
I´ve sold the house, but saved
your notes, my book,
newspaper clippings of
all things otter.
We echo things you said,
we say your special words out loud
to keep you alive, we keep you alive
through all the otters
You´d love that.
I loved you.
Annick Yerem is a Scottish/German poet who lives and works in Berlin. Annick tweets @missyerem and has been published, among other places, by River Mouth Review, Anti-Heroin-Chic, Rejection Letters, 192, Eat The Storms podcast, Green Ink Poetry, Open Collab and Sledgehammer Lit. She is currently working on her first chapbook (Hedgehog Press, 2022), St. Eisenberg & The Sunshine Bus.
Kari Flickinger is the author of The Gull and the Bell Tower (Femme Salvé Books) and Ceiling Fan (forthcoming with Rare Swan Press). Her work has been nominated for Best of the Net. She is an alumna of UC Berkeley and a Poetry and Music Editor for Storyteller’s Refrain.