‘living with my ghost’ by Carina Solis

Photograph
by Edward Lee

living with my ghost

it’s been five months since i killed my woman 
& now, i’ve gotten used to her living again—
her ghost. she sits with me at breakfast time & 
spits into my coffee; she watches me undress 
& trip into my shower; she laughs when i scald 
myself older in the puckering water: i’m used 
to her misery. but, i wish she would go away, 
for good; she’ll revive herself one day, i know 
it, & when that day comes, i’ll be drowning in 
myself. i’ve forgotten how to be a woman & the 
day she lives again (for real, flesh & bones & 
scars & sagging hips), i’ll be swallowed in her 
motherhood & lack of tampons.


Carina Solis is a fifteen-year-old writer living in Georgia. Her work is published or forthcoming in the Eunoia Review, Wrongdoing Mag, Gone Lawn, CLOVES, and elsewhere. Find her at carinasolis.carrd.co, on Twitter @CarinaS74562803, or binge-watching movies. At 1:00 AM. On school nights.


Edward Lee is an artist and writer from Ireland. His paintings and photography have been exhibited widely, while his poetry, short stories, non-fiction have been published in magazines in Ireland, England and America, including The Stinging Fly, Skylight 47, Acumen, Feral, The Blue Nib and Poetry Wales.  He is currently working on two photography collections: Lying Down With The Dead and There Is A Beauty In Broken Things. He also makes musical noise under the names Ayahuasca Collective, Orson Carroll, Lego Figures Fighting, and Pale Blond Boy. His blog/website can be found at https://edwardmlee.wordpress.com