Tony Schanuel
Three Room Dwelling
—Deceased: Robert Judson, his wife Kate Judson, and their baby Linda Mae Judson. Reported: Monday, November 1, 1937
If it was him, I don’t know. I’m dead
and he’s dead and so is my baby. Last
thing I knew he was alive. We were lying
in bed. I had put the baby to sleep.
She had fussed. I was exhausted.
A spent shell. He used his gun rarely,
but I knew he knew how. When I entered
our marriage I was shiny. A box full
of new ammunition. The bullets nestled
in like little sardines. Flashy. I thought
I’d never run out of gun powder.
When I thought about myself,
it was inside the target. I don’t know
why I always thought he might kill me.
I’d find him behind me when he
should have been beside me. Then
we had our daughter. She was
the cushion over my volatile self.
It was her cries that softened my own.
Quieted me. I did not scream
or complain anymore. I locked away
the gun of myself. Maybe he found the key?
The chairs were overturned. I had cleaned
up after dinner. It was Halloween.
The kitchen was spotless. Rubbed clean
of spills and food she had thrown
off her high chair. We got into
our pajamas. My head was a stifled gunshot.
This poem is after a miniature diorama of the same name, part of the Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death series by Frances Glessner Lee. Learn more here.
Jessica Purdy holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Emerson College. Her poems have appeared or are forthcoming in many journals including Dream Pop, One Art, Hole in the Head Review, Museum of Americana, Gargoyle, The Ekphrastic Review, and SurVision. Her books STARLAND and Sleep in a Strange House were both released by Nixes Mate in 2017 and 2018. Sleep in a Strange House was a finalist for the NH Literary Award for poetry. She is poetry editor for the upcoming anthology, Ten Piscataqua Writers: https://www.tenpiscataqua.com/writers/. Follow her on Twitter @JessicaPurdy123 and her website: jessicapurdy.com.
Tony Schanuel is an award-winning photographer and visual artist who has fused a professional background in photography, digital technology, and painting and mark making to create fine art that transcends those mediums. His work has been featured in Digital Imaging Magazine, Computer Graphic Magazine, Wild Heart Journal, St. Louis Design Magazine, and is a featured artist in Cyber Palette and Extreme Graphics, two books showcasing digital artists and their work. He has exhibited at the Florence Biennale and his art is held in private and corporate collections including the Fine Arts Museum of Houston permanent photographic collection.